Happy Birthday kjwrit!

I’m going to start with that gif because it had me in stitches yesterday and caused a makeup malfunction for Wifey while she was in the office. But from now on, anytime I have a bad day, this is my go-to gif for lolz.

Now that we got that tomfoolery out of the way we can get to the good stuff! About a week ago justwanderingneverlost put up a post on Instagram featuring this gem.

Wifey and I agreed that Girls Who Don’t Read are Skanks is our favorite, but ultimately it was Bibliobimbo that spoke to me. I had been through about 2154641 different ideas for her birthday fic. I thought I was slick back in February and might do something featuring Eric in spandex, paying homage to George Michael, whom both kjwrit and I are fans and were devastated to hear of his passing back in December. That didn’t work out, although the thought is still there so maybe at some point I’ll get a plot together that I actually like for the idea. Even Bibliobimbo had to get a reboot when I got about 3k words into the first version before I realized it wasn’t working. So I managed to get this written over the course of the last five days.

Maybe next year I won’t come down to the wire on Wifey’s present but it’s not likely. So, for your viewing/reading pleasure, I present


In addition to being Wifey’s birthday and Cinco de Mayo, the Cubbies are also playing the Yankees. What a day. I’m off to go cuddle GusGus. He’s getting so big!

Happy birthday Wifey! I hope it’s a great one!

Happy Birthday KJWRIT!

Okay, so this year I thought I’d get a jump on Wifey’s story. Way back in February I was like, “I have the perfect plot, and this is going to be done way before Wifey’s birthday!” And what happened? That plot turned out to be a turkey. I started working on it but when I went in to read it a few weeks ago I had no fucking clue what the end game was. So I had to start over. Since my birthday is a mere ten days before hers, of course there was that reminder going off in the back of my head that Wifey’s was coming up soon too. I tried a couple of different things but none of it was working. So then this happened.


Of course I had no idea what that song was because I up until I searched YouTube for it, I’d never heard a Demi Lovato song. Then of course I was like oh sweet, she picked something angsty. All these dramatic images of a lovelorn Sookie filled my mind, and yet, I couldn’t get a single word out about it. I tried for like two days and there was just nothing happening. And then there was a blessing from plot bunny heaven that got me started on the path I ended up staying on.


That nugget of Skarsporn really helped to cement the scruffy Eric I had in mind. Please feel free to keep that pic as reference for when Sookie starts up with her random humping on Eric. I mean honestly, how could you not? I would.

So anyway, I knew this wasn’t going to be a short one shot, but that’s okay. Truthfully, I could probably flesh this out a bit more and turn it into a full story, but I’m happy with how it is. I broke it up into two parts just in case you can’t read it all in one sitting.

As for Wifey, I hope that your mom isn’t driving you too crazy. If she is, give her more meds or maybe take some yourself. Happy birthday my dear friend!

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Click the banner to enter the story.

Just A Head’s Up

In addition to being Cinco de Mayo tomorrow, it is also my beloved Wifey’s birthday. As is customary for us, I have written her a one shot. Only this one shot just refused to end, so it’s really more like a short story. If it’s possible, I’m going to post it all in one go. I’m warning you now that the story is almost 19,000 words. It’s a beast, but I really love it and I hope you all will too. I just sent it over to Wifey to give her a chance to read it before it goes live. Keep your eyes out for another post tomorrow.

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SUMMARY: Sookie’s a single mom of a four-year-old girl who has struggled to get her baby daddy to take part in their daughter’s life. She’s pretty sure she’s doomed to end up forever alone. Then Eric Northman walks into the salon she works at and gives Sookie the hope she was about to let die.

May cause toothaches.

So It Took 9 Chapters…

I could be a terrible person and make you wait until next year to find out what happens next, but I think I’ll have mercy. This is last chapter of Dark Was the Night. I’ll get started on Cold Was the Ground, the companion to this story, and hopefully I’ll have a chapter of that for you in a few days. I have to plot out the way I want it to work out in the end, but I have ideas bouncing around the old bean.

In the meantime, if I don’t get the post again before Mother’s Day, I hope all the mamas out there have a wonderful mother’s day with their loved ones. This year Mama Bear’s birthday lands on Mother’s Day. My crazy sister in Ohio has a birthday on Saturday and my mini-me cousin’s birthday is on Tuesday. Assuming I don’t kill anyone at work tomorrow or Saturday, it’s all gravy.

Sidenote: I also bought the new Zac Brown Band album yesterday and holy shitcakes is it fantastic. For those of you who aren’t familiar, they’re generally filed under country music but don’t dismiss them so quickly. This album has a little bit of everything on it. It lives up to its name, Jekyll & Hyde, that’s for damn sure. If you get a chance, check out a song called Dress Blues. Don’t be surprised if you see a one shot pop up because of it.

Happy reading loverfaces xoxo

Chapter 9: Sated

Happy Birthday Wifey!

Finally Wifey’s birthday is upon us! I apologize in the delay in posting but I had the weekend from hell at work and yesterday wasn’t much better. By the time I got home the last thing I wanted to do was look at a computer or fight with the laptop. But to make up for my slacking off I loaded up three chapters because the only thing better than one chapter is three, right?

I also just realized I forgot to send Wifey her birthday text so I have to go send her a ton of emoticons in place of calling her and terrorizing her with my terrible singing. I am quite certain that would be our first and last phone conversation. Someday I’ll make it to the east coast and then God help us all…

A.K.A. Defense exhibit A.

In the meantime, I hope Wifey has been having a fantastic birthday and you all are enjoying the unfolding of her epic present. I don’t know how I am going to top this, short of kidnapping Skarsy and stashing him in her garden shed out back so he can stand guard over Squirrely Girl.

Chapter 5: Deviate

My New Favorite Thing…

I sipped the Kool-Aid and boy am I glad I did because OMG is this shit fun! Such a simple concept… Although I have to say so far Paul Rudd is the champ to beat. If you haven’t seen the lip sync battle he had with Jimmy Fallon on the Tonight Show, you are missing out. You can definitely find it on YouTube. Oh hell…

It’s perfection. Really.

But just in case you don’t share my love for my new favorite thing, here’s a little of my old favorite thing.

Chapter 4: Foreboding

Earworm & New Chapter

So as I was chillin’ like a villain at home yesterday (after pulling an employee of the month move by voluntarily going in to work to finish up payroll and make my boss’s life a little easier on what turned out to be a shitbomb of a day there) I ended up catching most of an old episode of Behind the Music on VH1 Classic.

No, not that. The real show. It was a remastered edition of the Hall & Oates episode. If you don’t know who Hall & Oates is, you might be too young to be reading my work. Just saying.

Anyway… as you all know, Wifey loves her pop culture references. You know, like this…

If you can throw the ’80s in with that? Well shit, son. So thanks to VH1 Classic I now have this friggin’ song clouding up my brain matter.


Or you can skip the video and go straight to the new chapter.

Chapter 3: Vanished

Wifey’s Birthday or Hanukkah?

Day 2 of Wifey’s birthdaypalooza is upon us! I didn’t know it until today but this happened. Our favorite Swede is returning to television for the fifth season of American Horror Story. I look at that as somewhat of a joint birthday gift since Wifey’s and mine are so close together. I think that’s fair, right? Right. Know what else is fair? Letting you all have the next chapter of Dark Was the Night, so here it is.

Chapter 2: Reflection

Oh, and if you click the “next” button at the bottom of the most recent chapter posted, it’s not going to work until I put up the next chapter. It’s a tease. I know. I’m evil. Line forms to the left lol

Wifey’s Birthday Has Come Early!

I know, I know, I can hear Wifey right now groaning and mentally asking me why I’m trying to make her older faster. Well, she has no one but herself to blame. When she told me my birthday present was tipping the scales at a 16k word count (and it wasn’t done yet!), I knew I had to step up my game. Therefore, we have this short story.

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And yes, this story features vampires, telepaths and maybe even Steve Newlin, oh my! It’s True Blood verse somewhere toward the end of season two, minus that dumbass MaryAnn plot that went on about 11 episodes too long, plus Godric didn’t meet the sun in Dallas. Just for shiznits and giggles, I kept Gran around, too. And Bill’s man bangs. Whether or not Bill will still be Sookie’s beau is another story. This is a kjwrit birthday present so I think you can figure out how that’s going to go for our favorite wet blanket. I couldn’t very well have her calling in the waaaaaahmbulance on her 21st birthday redux, could I?

I suspect this is only going to be eight or nine chapters but I’m in the planning stages for a follow up to it called Cold Was the Ground, which is the second half of the song title by Blind Willie Johnson. If you want to hear the song, it’s on the main page for the story. So without further ado, I present the first chapter of Dark Was the Night.

Happy reading and happy birthday to my amazing wifey, whom I somehow manage to love a little more each year.