What A Week…

So after all my raging earlier this week, I got an urgent message from my sister in London, telling me that she was assaulted by some douchebag in a park. Apparently homeboy couldn’t take no for an answer and decided that it was okay for him to try to put his hand down my sister’s shirt as she tried to get away from him. The old “I have a boyfriend” thing didn’t work and he proceeded to follow her out of the park she was in. Ultimately, my sister punched the guy and ran but she was pretty shaken up and pissed off the by incident.

Sadly, I am more relieved than anything else. Relieved that she wasn’t raped, beaten up, stabbed, shot, set on fire, thrown into oncoming traffic or had acid/bleach thrown on her for saying no and standing her ground. #ReasonsWeNeedFeminism. I’m proud of her for standing up for herself and fighting back. I seriously hope that she disfigured the douche in some way so every time he looks in the mirror he remembers that not every woman will be his victim. I’m sure that wasn’t the first or last time the guy will do something like that.

My sister is okay and she made it back to her hostel safely after seeing a movie. She’s back at York now and she made it there just fine. I talked to her this morning and she’s doing okay. She’s still pissed off about what happened, but I can’t say that I blame her. I’m still pissed off about it too. It angers the shit out of me that I’m thankful nothing worse happened because it somehow lessens what did happen. I’m not okay with how deeply it’s ingrained in us to pretty much expect to be treated like this just because we’re women.

That said, as I was reading over this new chapter of Free I realized how Sookie is judged based solely on her looks in a part here. See how deep it goes? I wasn’t even thinking about it when I wrote it, but it’s there. *sigh* Anyway… I think you’ll still enjoy the chapter. Stan’s mom is a trip, to say the least…


Everyone Gets a Happy!

I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned my texts with Wifey before but today I bring photographic evidence! I’m pretty sure Wifey’s muse snuck into my brain, seeking asylum from the bitch slapping she got yesterday. Poor dear. She whispered something in my ear and of course I had to text Wifey. It devolved to this because our brains’ address is officially The Gutter.

2014-07-28 16.31.55

And that’s one of the cleaner exchanges to take place. Although her muse must still be drunk because she did suggest something that was incestuous. Either that, or she’s got a concussion from that bitch slap…



Missy’s Birthday & Free Update!


Taken from that time Missy was here in the Windy City getting her Giordano’s and 312 beer on. *sigh* Those were the days, weren’t they, dearest? Someday we’ll reunite! Maybe next time I’ll come see you and Stinky dog. And Stinky Roommate. We can laugh at the heads that don’t match bodies and I’ll bring earplugs so we can block out the screaming of those Hot Topic leggings that are three sizes too small.

You know who what I’m talking about.

We can go to the wine trails and I’ll get bombed on two glasses of wine because I’m a classy broad with a low tolerance for alcohol and then I’ll get the munchies like a stoner (and we can make pumpkin/maple scones and like 3 pounds of bacon) because that’s how I roll when I’m drunk. Seriously. It’s actually pretty funny.

So go wish Missy a super awesome birthday because she’s super awesome and she can’t have Chicago pizza. That makes her sad. No one should be sad on their birthday.

For the rest of you I have the new chapter of Free. It’s a day late but meh. At least you’re getting it, right? Oh and Scribe deserves a shout out for writing Stan in this story because he’s pretty rad.

Chapter 7: Animal Kingdom

Look What Ya Done Now…

First of all, thank you to everyone who left me well wishes for my upcoming travels. Y’all are sweethearts and I appreciate the positive vibes floating my way.


For those that don’t know it, the winners for the You Want Blood Awards were posted here very late last night (bless central time!). Can I just say that I was pretty much knocked on my ass when I saw this?


Because I was. Holy crap, y’all! I really wasn’t expecting that story to place, let alone win the category! I suppose, though, if you want some crazy drama it doesn’t get any better than LTS. It spawned some fun OCs and I remember having a blast writing it, but that was years ago. Like I put down Always For You to start that story. At least I finished it but still… haha.

But that’s not all! There’s also all these:





I have to thank Scribe and Missy as well, because they’re obviously integral parts of the Brainmates and Dirty Lemons machine. I love them both and working with each of them has been wonderful. I’m also proud of Missy for her individual wins. The first thought in placing third for the Mr. January award? I’d happily have a threesome with Wifey and Heather any day of the week!

You know what’s kind of funny to me? I won an award for doing the beta thing and I don’t even beta anymore. I almost feel like I should recuse myself from that award but I’ll just pull a Kathy Griffin and say, “Suck it, Jesus! This award is my god now!”


Free- 6: Parrotheads

Happy Trails, Y’all!

Buenos dias, lovers! So I got an interesting offer from Scribe’s older sister this week that involves me going down to Florida for six weeks to take care of the Precious Babies, Sassy and Mr. Conductor (accurate nicknames, yes, Scribe?). After a little anxiety attack (because I haven’t left the midwest since I was 14 and on my 8th grade trip to D.C.) and an argument with my mother (who is… a hot mess), I decided to go for it. So, as of Thursday I will be out of Chicago for the first time in years. It’s going to be a long couple of days getting from here to Florida. Lots of driving going down since I have only spoken to Sassy via Skype and Mr. Conductor is only 2 so he has no idea who I am. Sassy, btw, is the little monster that was doing that geography project some of you were amazeballs enough to contribute to. Anyway, I’ll be in Florida. I’m taking my tablet with me but not a laptop. I’ll have access to one but it’ll be somewhat limited, so I’m not sure how frequently I’ll be updating this blog. I’ll try to remember to do it once a week. We’ll see how busy I am chasing the Precious Babies.

In the meantime, I do come bearing a new chapter of Free. I have some banked up so it’s just a matter of remembering to post.

Chapter 5: Could You Be Loved

I’m Saturdaying Way Too Early…

And to make matters worse, I’ve watched 8 Mile like 4 times in the last week so I have Eminem all up in my brain.

That song isn’t in the movie but I do enjoy it quite a bit.

Wifey and I haven’t texted rap lyrics to one another in a while… ah, the days when we were still courting each other.

Anyway… before I start getting all mushy, here’s your update. New Counting Stars will be up in a few minutes.

4: The Hangover

Look What Y’all Did…

What a lovely thing to discover last night when I woke up randomly. This whole quitting smoking thing has been kicking my ass and I now feel like I smoked an entire carton of cigarettes in one day, even though I know it’s just my lungs purifying themselves.It has officially been a week, so this is just the pick-me-up I needed.

Naked Vikings to everyone who nominated me!


I can’t believe anyone even remembers that relic. LTS was one of my first AH stories YEARS ago and I think it marks the first story ever where readers were begging me to break up Eric and Sookie. I take pride in that, by the way. I haven’t read it in years, but it was angstastic and dramalicious. Definitely qualifies for the award it was nominated for.


To be honest, I feel a little odd about being nominated for an award for Full of Grace, if only because it was so heavily influenced by Untamed Heart. Obviously, it didn’t follow the story line exactly but it was close. All the same, it makes me happy to know that so many were touched by it. It’s one of my favorites, too.


Then finally there’s this. Getting an award for writing an Eric is just… it’s the character I struggle the most with. So many facets to this character and I always worry that I’m not doing him justice. Apparently, I’m worrying for nothing.

Thank you all so much for all of your love, reviews, encouragement and enthusiasm over the years. It really does help to keep me in this fandom. I will admit, for a little while, I thought I was done. I’d even discussed “retiring” with Missy and Scribe. The well was just running dry for me. I’ve written a lot for this fandom and I have never wanted to write the same thing twice. I’ve always said that if I’m bored writing something, my readers will be bored reading it and I don’t want that to happen.

So again, I thank you.

To vote go here.

Happy Thursday, lovers!

3: Mas Tequila

Wardrobe Malfunction

I’m so jazzed you’re enjoying my fun little side project I’ve been working on. I replied to a few of you via email and that’s the way I’ll respond to anyone who leaves reviews with plot suggestions. I hate spoilers so I won’t spoil for anyone else. I’m seriously open to all sorts of ideas. I sent a text to Wifey yesterday telling her my angst whore of a muse wanted to have Sookie kidnapped and sold into sex slavery, a la Taken. She quickly reminded me that I promised this would be a fun story. No worries, Sookie won’t be kidnapped from the island unless there’s a GQ looking mofo involved.


Yeah, that guy again.

Just because I’m a big fan of visual aids, allow me to leave you with a few so we have the same mental pictures here.

Sookie’s cottage is loosely based on this:


Yes please. I’ll take two. One for Wifey, of course.


The Coco Loco


Pam’s place


Eric’s crib. We’ll be visiting it in a few chapters.

We’ll also be seeing Stan soon, courtesy of Scribeninja, who was kind enough to pop in and guest author him earlier. Pretty funny shit if I do say so myself.

Anyway… enough of my yammering and giving you the show but no tell.

2: Wardrobe Malfunction


So there I was, just minding my own business, texting Wifey when she goes and mentions Skarsy in a Tarzan get up. I don’t have ovaries made of stone and since her plot bunnies are as fertile as mine, it didn’t take much to get her going on Northern Star. She threw me under the bus for that but I don’t really mind since I was under there with Skarsy and we all know that turned into a rumble in the jungle situation, even if it was only in my brainspace.

So in her post she mentioned her muse taking a vacation, which sent my Muse packing in search of hers because, well, they like to chillax together on occasion. Unfortunately that bitch got a little sidetracked and ended up on a not so deserted island called Bimini. All hope was completely lost when she stumbled across a 5 Times GQ Looking Motherfucker.


Yeah, that guy. So of course the Muse stuck around and then details started to be Tele-typed to me… it’s a crazy business. Suffice it to say, it’s all Wifey’s fault.

I have no idea what the hell I’m doing with this story, how long it will be or when I’ll be updating it. The chapters are short but so far I’m having fun writing it and it’s been weird as fuck to write by myself since I’ve gotten so used to having Scribe or Missy to write with.

So that brings us to…

Free Banner

Recently divorced Sookie on a long overdue vacation in the Bahamas. Eric is a bartender, or so it appears.

I’m open to plot suggestions for this story because it’s all about fun. Feel free to throw things at me if you’ve got ideas. Wifey’s already given her two cents but I’m sure there’s more where that came from.

The title comes from a Zac Brown Band song that I’m currently enjoying the shit out of. I’ll add the video to the main page for this story.

Click the banner to start the story. I posted two chapters to get you started. Happy reading!