Chapter 4: Confessions

Day 4

Sookie wasn’t here when I rose. I thought seriously about going looking for her, but didn’t. Instead, I had a blood and showered in her bathroom. I didn’t use it, but the smell of her cherry blossom scented soap soothed me some. I missed her terribly.

As curious as I sometimes find myself to be about my regular life, I know it doesn’t include Sookie like it does now, and that is something I’m having trouble accepting. When this curse is lifted, what happens? How do we go back to the way things were? I can’t imagine seeing her once in a while, and going about my life like she’s just some girl. Although, maybe I don’t give myself enough credit. Maybe I don’t see her as just some girl.

I could never treat her like my pet, even if she allowed it. I had a ‘dream,’ I suppose you could call it, while I was in that in between stage. I dreamed of turning Sookie and making her mine for eternity, only she hated me for it. In my dream, Pam was also my… child, I think is the term, only she was grateful to me for having turned her. The whole thing was slightly absurd, but it got me thinking.

I would never turn Sookie against her will, even if the thought of going on without her makes me incredibly sad. I can’t feel her now. She’s too far away from me. I should probably call Pam and see if she can answer any of my questions. By all accounts, I should be able to trust her.

Sookie does, and while Sookie might be a bit lacking the survival instincts department, she’s no fool. Yes, I think I will call Pam…

According to Pam, I am more than 1,000 years old. I was born the son of a chieftain during the Viking era. The language I was speaking was Old Norse. I was turned at the human age age of maybe 23 or 24, on my way home from paying a bride price. My wife had recently died just after giving birth to our sixth child. Our last child, a daughter, died shortly after my wife from some sort of infection. I was a warrior, by trade, and perhaps one of the best swordsmen to ever live.

I turned Pam in the early 1800s in London when I grew lonely. Pam and I were lovers for a short time after she was turned, but haven’t been for more than a century. I released her for a time, until I called her back to help me get Fangtasia off the ground. She stayed on longer than either of us planned she would, but serves me well as my business partner, and second in command.

Old Norse is just one of dozens of languages I speak, and a few of them are now dead. I own several businesses, just as Sookie said. Pam offered to put together a dossier for me, but I told her to hold off. I was handpicked by the queen of Louisiana to rule area five, and I immediately made Pam my second. I asked a few questions about other vampires in our area, especially about Bill Compton. I found out Pam doesn’t mince words, or sugar coat anything. I think I have chosen well in making Pam my second.

She asked after Sookie, and I told her what I knew of Jason’s disappearance. She became angry at Sookie for not making her aware of the situation, and promised to organize trackers to help with the search. She explained it was as much for my interests as it was for Sookie’s. Jason hadn’t been glamoured to forget I was staying with Sookie, which was an oversight on Pam’s part. Since he knew where I was, there was no guarantee he wouldn’t go back on his word and give up my location after being tortured for a few hours.

I learned that one of our waitresses at the bar was killed, and another was injured when Hallow showed up during the day to try and find out where I am. I instructed Pam to make sure Belinda’s hospital bills were paid, as well as to cover the cost of Ginger’s funeral. They were working for me, and suffered on my behalf. Paying the bills was the least I could do for them.

I was about to ask why Chow and Sookie didn’t get along when I felt a spike of panic coming from Sookie. I told Pam what I was feeling, and then to stay put. I promised to check in with her and call if we needed her assistance. I got off the phone and went to grab the sweatshirt Jason had bought me. I paid attention to the connection I had to Sookie, and realized, for the first time, that there wasn’t just one buzz in my veins. The other, I figured, must be Pam, but I would have to ask about that as well.

The panic has died down some, but it’s not entirely gone. I can, however, feel Sookie getting closer to me. I’m going out to meet her.

I’m beginning to wonder if Sookie isn’t some sort of beacon for danger. When I caught her on the porch, she was tightly wound and very afraid. While I didn’t enjoy those feelings, there was something arousing in them. I chocked it up to the vampire in me. The thrill of the chase, and the seductive dance of stalking ones prey.

Yes, I wanted Sookie.

I wanted to take her mind off of whatever was making her smell so good, and making me feel so conflicted about the very nature of what I am. If I have been on this earth for more than 1,000 years, I can only assume I usually enjoy being a vampire. Being made to hide when I possess superior skills to humans is an affront to that nature.

Although, if hiding meant making love to Sookie, I could be persuaded. I think I’ve found a new favorite passtime. But to prove a point, a point that while my memory is defective, the rest of me works just fine, I insisted we go check it out when Sookie said Hallow had been to Bill’s. Sookie argued against it, just a hair above terrified that something bad might happen to me, but I wasn’t afraid.

In fact, I was looking forward to a challenge, to the chance to use instincts I had been trusting for centuries. After a few minutes of giving Sookie the kisses I would have given her if she’d been home when I rose, I settled the debate we were having by putting her on my back, and heading for the cemetery. She didn’t like what I was doing, but I couldn’t just hide like she wanted me to. I took us as far as a few yards back into the trees from Bill’s house.

I could smell the others. There were too many ‘people’ milling about. All of them were shifters of some capacity. It was amazing to me that Sookie couldn’t smell them when I could, just as clearly as I could smell her perfume. I put her down and pressed her against a tree. It was then that I realized she smelled of shifter. Her boss was a shifter. His scent blew through the trees, and it wasn’t coming from Sookie. He was close. Was he working with the witches?

When Hallow gave the order for her partner to change, he did so without hesitation. There was that delicious smell of fear coming from Sookie, and the fact that I was pressed against her only made it that much more difficult not to abandon our mission so I could take her home and ravage her. Instead, I listened to the fight that was gong on near the house.

The glimmer of animal eyes caught my attention. Sookie apologized, but for what, I wasn’t sure. I felt regret and disappointment in her blood. Did she think she had gotten me caught? Clearly she underestimated my skills as both a vampire, and a fighter if that was the case. I wouldn’t give up so easily. My lips grazed her hair, then there was a bark from the creature that smelled like Sookie. I didn’t want to leave her there, but I had to see what was happening. So, I left her in the care of her shifter friend, and took to the sky.

I would have brought her with me, but it would hardly be stealthy. A flying Viking will raise enough eyebrows alone without a busty blonde on his back. I watched a pack’s worth of Weres circle Bill’s property. Having been unsuccessful in finding whatever it was he was looking for, Hallow’s companion shifted back to human form after being injured by another Were. There was something off about his blood. Was it the magic tainting it, like Sookie with her telepathy? Her blood didn’t quite taste human either, delicious as it was.

I watched the shifter climb into the car, and then followed as it sped away from the house. The car stopped for nothing, and even mowed down a Were trying to get out of the way. I would have kept on going, but Sookie had a shifter versus an entire pack of werewolves was no contest. I returned to the house to find Sookie inside with her shifter dutifully guarding her. He growled when he saw me, and I nearly did the same.

A wolf came and led us to an injured pack member and Sookie tasked me with retrieving her car. I dropped in the backyard to find Pam waiting for me. The only car in sight was Sookie’s, leading me to believe she’d run all the way from Shreveport. When I arched an eyebrow at her, she told me she’d sensed the trouble and a car would only slow her down. I ordered Pam to stay put, hoping it would work that time, and drove Sookie’s car over to Bill’s house.

I wanted to help get the injured girl in the car, but a pack of wolves was prepared to rip me apart if I tried, so I stayed out of the way as an elderly man, most likely the pack master, lifted her. I was allowed to help arrange the girl in the backseat, but Sookie wouldn’t let me go along to the hospital.

I hate to admit she was right when she pointed out there were posters up all over with my face on them. With Hallow literally sniffing around so close, it was best not to test my luck any further. Begrudgingly, I got out of the car and watched as Sookie sped off into the darkness.

I didn’t waste any time returning to Sookie’s. Pam was standing in the same place I’d left her. The smell of Were blood clung to me, and I wanted a second shower. It was a most unpleasant smell in comparison to Sookie’s more delicate scents. I brought Pam inside with me and secured the house. I caught her up on what had happened, and I wondered aloud how the werewolves ended up at Bill’s in the first place. Did they know about Hallow? Was she making as much trouble for them as she was for vampires?

Pam and I each had a bottle of blood while she filled me in a little more on what she knew. It wasn’t just vampires Hallow was messing with. She was attempting some Supernatural takeover. Both she and her brother, Mark, were werewolves. They drank vampire blood and practiced magic. In short, according to Pam, they were ‘bad ass motherfuckers,’ who had picked the wrong ‘head bitch in charge’ to fuck with. Whether she was referring to me, or herself, I wasn’t sure.

She had tried to align the local Were pack, with no luck, and hadn’t fared any better with the vampires. I asked Pam if she had been able to get any further information on whether or not it would be possible for Hallow to perform some sort of locating spell to find me. Pam wasn’t nearly as adamant as Chow about it being an impossibility. I wanted to stay with Sookie, but I didn’t want to place her in danger.

We needed to get to Hallow, and we needed to do it fast. My feelings were mixed where the whole going back to myself idea was concerned. The concept of going back to a life I didn’t know didn’t exactly appeal to me, but I would do it for Sookie if it would keep her alive. I briefly contemplated both of us going on the run, but that was no good.

I asked Pam to look into Jason’s disappearance a little more, and she told me she already had trackers out at his place to get his scent. They were to contact her by phone as soon as they had something to report back to her. We talked about the vampire hierarchy, and the chain of command. So far, the only vampires who knew about my condition were Pam and Chow. As far as everyone else was concerned, I was on vacation. The human employees had all been glamoured with different locations to keep Hallow guessing. Not even the queen of Louisiana knew where I was, or what had been happening in area five.

Pam assured me we would handle this situation, that everything would be just fine. She promised she would find a way to ‘fix me,’ and shoot out the Werebitch’s kneecaps at the same time. I had no doubt Pam would keep her promises. I was in the shower, ridding myself of the horrible stench of Were blood when Sam, Sookie’s boss, called from his bar. Everyone was meeting there, and my presence was expected as well. Pam had only answered the phone after hearing his voice on the answering machine.

I dressed quickly and we went to Merlotte’s. Chow and another vampire named Gerald I had no recollection of. Not much explanation was offered, other than to say he was a nest mate to Pam and Chow. I didn’t care much for him, but then I still wasn’t convinced Chow was as trustworthy as everyone wanted me to think. Perhaps I had brought him closer to me to keep an eye on him? If that was the case, it seemed Pam knew nothing about it.

The Shifter brought us True Blood immediately. Horrible stuff. I really don’t know how, as a race, we could voluntarily give up human blood as Sookie suggested we have. Of course, there are the private exchanges of lovers, and then the ‘fangbangers,’ as she called them, who are more than willing to donate to our cause. Only, vampires grow tired of them. They have been annoying, needy creatures, and they take all of the fun out of the hunt.

I got a taste of my own darkness this evening, so I know there is a predator in me. It wants a fight. It wants to stalk, lure, and devour. It wants to possess and corrupt. It wants to crawl inside the deepest parts of Sookie and spread through her until she understands just how much I…

I felt Sookie returning to Merlotte’s before she actually arrived. Once again, her weariness was overwhelming. When she walked in, she was with a beautiful woman nearly a half a foot taller than her. I felt the shift in Pam’s mood immediately. She’d gone from bored to what’s the phrase? Hornier than a toad, I think. She wanted to pounce on this new woman. The sweetest, most alluring smell filled the air.

I was too busy staring at Sookie, who didn’t seem altogether pleased about this new woman’s presence in the room to really get as excited about her as Pam and Gerald had. When this new woman, Claudine, suggested someone should have gone along to the hospital with Sookie, I took it personally. I’d wanted to go. Sookie wouldn’t allow it. Claudine found this as amusing as she found me good looking. I could sense a hint of arousal from her, which only sweetened her scent.

Sookie felt suddenly incensed, and I looked back and forth between the two women, trying to figure out what had just happened. I knew there was something different about Claudine. She didn’t smell human at all. She was too sweet to be a Were. The mystery was solved moments later when Claudine revealed herself as a fairy.

From that point on, things got interesting. The girl who’d been hit by Hallow’s car was doing okay. Sookie invented a story about finding her broken body by the side of the road. Colonel Flood, the pack master, went on to explain two of his underlings had tracked Hallow’s scent to Bon Temps, which was how the pack knew where to converge. They were seeking to avenge deaths at Hallow’s hands. I also learned then that a vampire had gone missing. The witches were planning to drain a vampire per day until they found me.

I couldn’t understand what the big deal was. What was the root of Hallow’s obsession with me? But, as always, Sookie spoke up and surprised me. My blood. My blood was the reason. If she was going to drain vampires and sell their blood, it would be a very good business for her. Because of my age, my blood was much stronger than most vampires. Pam estimated Hallow could make upwards of $40,000 from selling my blood alone.

Of course, that meant draining me outright, which I presumed she wouldn’t do. No, she would keep me alive. She would take me almost to the point of draining, let me heal, then nearly drain me again. I presumed this process would repeat until she grew tired of me. And, I suspected, she would probably throw in a little sexual torture just for fun. What a lovely woman.

The smell of the fairy began to call to me, and when she spoke again, I found myself on my feet, starting to edge toward her. I wasn’t the only one. Pam and Gerald seemed to be just as entranced by the sweetness in the air, and the predator in me was willing to slaughter them both to get the fairy all to myself. A strange tunnel vision took over, and I forgot everything but the fairy. I wanted her. I craved her. It was like the need I felt for Sookie had been magnified tenfold, and it was all for the delicious fairy who was backing away from anything with fangs.

I nearly walked through Sookie to get to the fairy. I was overwhelmed with want, but then the fairy was gone, taking her intoxicating smell and blood with her. The effects of both things lingered, even when she was gone, and when I snapped out of whatever haze I’d fallen into, I was draped on Sookie. She smelled almost as good as Claudine. I wanted to throw her down on a table and take her right there in front of everyone. I wanted them to hear her scream in pleasure, and drink from her until I had to stop. I might have drained her in those moments if it weren’t for the crowd and the other vampires who would have protected her.

I settled for rubbing against her and groping her where no one could see. I felt her combined pleasure and discomfort, but she didn’t try to slap my hands away. Discussion turned to Jason’s whereabouts, and what role Hallow may have played in his disappearance. There seemed to be no evidence of her being involved. Pam glanced at her cell phone, but there were no missed calls from the trackers she’d tasked. I was snapped back to the conversation going on when some redheaded Werebitch called Sookie a ‘vamp humper.’

Her insult was stinging in the connection we shared, and before I could stop myself, I was on the stupid shifter. I had a hand on her throat and my fangs bared at her. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to squeeze the life out of her, or rip her throat right open and drink to my heart’s content. I didn’t get the chance to decide before Pam and Gerald were pulling me off the bitch. Her pack wanted to retaliate for the violence, but Colonel Flood wisely ruled against it. Stupid bitch should have kept her mouth shut.

My inability to recall my Viking history, or what it was to be a sheriff in the modern day, didn’t mean I forgot what it was to defend my woman when she was insulted so deeply by someone who had no right shooting her mouth off. Pam was speaking softly to me in what sounded like Old Norse, but I couldn’t understand what she was saying. Yet, the words had a calming effect on me. Or they did until a new werewolf pranced into the bar and got cozy with Alcide, much to Sookie’s disgust.

Sookie and I were both shoved outside by Pam and Gerald to Chow’s waiting hands. Sookie’s mood was about as sour as my own. On the drive home, her weariness returned as her anger faded. I turned to study her profile in the darkness. Her eyes were focused intently on the road. I could feel her struggle to stay awake. I didn’t realize quite how late it was for her, nor did I know what she’d been up to all day. If the rest of her day was as busy as the last few hours, I couldn’t blame her for being exhausted.

I asked her why Weres and vampires were at odds with one another, but she didn’t have any answers for me on that. I’ll have to ask Pam. Hearing Sookie speak of herself in such a derogatory manner when she spoke of the incident with redheaded Were, and then Debbie afterward. Debbie? Was this the same Debbie that pushed Sookie into the trunk of a car in Jackson and nearly got her drained? I decided then I would have vengeance for it, if it were true.

Hearing Sookie describe herself as crazy didn’t sit well with me. I couldn’t imagine why anyone would think bad things about her, much less treat her badly. She was so kind to everyone. She went out of her way to help others, even those who weren’t worthy of it. It didn’t evade me I might have been one of those people. Based on the things she had told me, I wasn’t exactly kind to her in the past, and still I had demanded her assistance more than once. I will never do that again. Not after she has shown me the sort of kindness and care she has.

We were standing in her kitchen when I looked her in her sparkling, yet exhausted, blue eyes and told her she was beautiful. The fact that she looked at me like I had two heads only further fed my desire for her to know just how special she is. Was it really possible no one had ever told her just how special she is? She didn’t seem to want to hear it as I told her she was smart, loyal and had a sense of fun and adventure, but I kept on talking. I told her she has beautiful breasts because, well, she does, and since I couldn’t recall seeing another woman’s breasts, it wasn’t a lie when I said hers were the best I’d ever seen. Although, I’d be willing to bet the statement was still true, even if I had total recall of my memory. I guess I’ll have to wait and see.

She put her fingers over my mouth, thinking it would silence me, but she was wrong. I licked her fingers, which got a lovely shudder out of her. She relaxed against me as I told her she was responsible and hardworking. Apparently, I’d said more than enough to make her uncomfortable because she replaced her fingers with her lips. Kissing her was definitely the best part of my day, and I was determined to make her feel all that I was feeling toward her in that moment.

With all of the reasons she had to turn her back and renege on the deal she’d reached with Pam and Chow, she didn’t. If anything, she was even more serious about keeping me safe than she had ever been. Her determination was matched by her bravery. She was putting everything on the line for someone who hadn’t quite been worthy of such regard in the past. I was floored by her. She amazed me.

After a kiss that seemed to fan some flames in us both, I told Sookie she was creative, in addition to everything else. I decided to show her she wasn’t the only one who could be creative, and after divesting her of her clothes right there in her kitchen, I laid her back on the table. I spent ample time worshiping the world’s most beautiful breasts, delighting in the sighs and moans that escaped her. Her fingers tangled in my hair, and followed my head down until I settled between her equally beautiful thighs.

Her desire had pooled nicely there, almost like it was waiting for me to come lap it up, which I did eagerly. Her back arched and her hips began to flex and rock under the ministrations of my fingers and tongue. Her sweetness coated my tongue and lips, and the flavor seemed to invigorate me. Her grip on my hair got tighter and tighter, the closer she came to her release. I looked up into her eyes to find she was watching me, and the groan that escaped against her little bundle of nerves sent her over the edge.

She sucked on her fingers as she climaxed, and it was, perhaps, the most erotic thing I’d seen her do yet. In a heartbeat, I was naked and scooping her up off the table and carrying her to her bedroom. Her arms circled my neck and she kissed my chest lazily as I walked. I enjoyed the feeling of her warm skin pressed against me. I could feel her heartbeat radiating through my body, and for a little while, it was like my own heart was beating again. It was a wonderful, yet strange feeling.

No sooner had I set her down in bed than she was clamoring for me to get in with her. It was a welcome change, how much she wanted me near her. I remembered the way she had been almost afraid to touch me just a few days before, and now she was welcoming me inside her as if it was where I belonged. We fit together perfectly. Her legs wrapped around me, and her fingers twisted in my hair again, pulling my mouth to hers.

While there was plenty of need and hunger swirling between us, there was no frenzy. I was bound and determined to take my time; to show her just what she meant to me. The long, slow thrusts of my hips and the deep, breath stealing kisses seemed to go on forever until finally, we released at the same time. Her legs trembled around me, and her eyes blazed with passion. Her fingers trailed up and down my back before settling on my bottom, keeping me inside her.

She moaned when I pulled out, and shifted to lay beside her. She turned onto her side and let her head rest on my chest. I felt her breasts against my side, and again, the pounding of her heart filled me. She breathed deeply, and was very close to falling asleep. I kissed her head and stroked her back and hair. She was happy, and that made me appreciate her that much more.

“Thank you,” she whispered to me in the darkness before kissing my chest.

In spite of all she was doing for me, she was thanking me. I tilted her face toward mine, looked deeply into her eyes and told her precisely how I felt in that moment.

“No, you took me in off the road and kept me safe. You’re ready to fight for me. I can tell this about you. I can’t believe my luck. When this witch is defeated, I would bring you to my side. I will share everything I have with you. Every vampire who owes me fealty will honor you.” I need to remember this promise to her. Too many promises have been broken to this worthy woman. She makes me feel alive. There is this light in her eyes I don’t think I could find anywhere else.

I felt the contradiction in her blood. She wanted to be pleased with my words, and yet, there was sorrow running through her. I waited for her to say something, thinking she would happily agree to my proposal. Instead, all she said was, “You’ve made me very happy.”

I felt the echo of truth in her veins, and held her a little tighter until she fell asleep. I made a promise to myself that if she will let me, I will show her every day how special she is; how worthy. The rest of the world is wrong about her. Perhaps it is to my advantage they can’t see all of the good things I do.

I stayed in bed with her for as long as I could before cleaning up the mess of clothes in the kitchen and depositing them on the service porch for washing. Now, here I sit at the very kitchen table where I pleasured her just hours before, and I find myself wondering how I am going to go back to my other life. Part of me hopes to never track down this insipid witch, while the dark part of me wants nothing more than to find her, torture her and then drain her dry.

I feel trapped between worlds, and don’t quite belong in either of them. I don’t feel like I belong with Pam, and yet, I know staying as I am isn’t really any option for me. My child will act in my best interest, like a good second should do. She will make sure I am restored, and then what becomes of Sookie?

It has been decided we will go to war with Hallow. It’s only a question of when. And then, once this spell is broken, will I remember all that has happened in these last days, or it will be as lost to me as I am to myself right now? I feel this warmth in my chest. It aches and soothes me all at once, and there’s this throbbing when I picture Sookie in my mind.

There are many things I should be afraid of, at the moment, but nothing scares me more than losing Sookie. Perhaps Hallow isn’t the only one who has bewitched me.


4 thoughts on “Chapter 4: Confessions

  1. I enjoyed the summarization of events involving the Shreveport were-pack, Hallow, Debbie, and the red-headed were-b!tch that made derogatory comments about Sookie – well done. However, I feel that Eric is great for Sookie in that he sees to her needs; especially his efforts to make her feel good about herself, and to help her to relax after a taxing day – LOVE those details!

    WELL done – keep up the good work.

    .-.-. errors found needing correction:
    1) ‘… but serves me well as my business partner, and second in command.’ [“second in command” ought to be “second-in-command”];
    2) ‘I chocked it up to the vampire in me.’ [“chocked it up” ought to be “chalked it up”]
    3) ‘… or it will be as lost to me as I am to myself right now?’ [“or it will be” ought to be “or will it be”]

Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s