Sometimes I Am So Done With the Internet…

If you haven’t already heard about what happened to Ficlit78, you must be living under a rock. It’s positively disgusting and I sincerely hope there is some sort of monitory recompense for it, however that’s not going to soothe the sting. It’s not really financial compensation that I’m sure she’s yearning for right about now. She has my sincere sympathy because I can imagine what she’s going through right now, and that’s without having a full picture of what she might have sacrificed in order to work on her stories. Stories that she believed wouldn’t be stolen by some degenerate that mastered the art of copy and paste. Resemble my ass.

On top of that, I’m also really fucking sick of hearing/reading about 50 Shades of An Abusive relationship. As I told Scribe this morning in a Facebook comment, I got into a debate with my Mom about that series the other day. Last week when I went to get my hair cut, the woman who has been cutting my hair since I was a toddler invited my mom to a 50 Shades party and I gave her judgey eyes for it. I proceeded to go off on an epic rant about all the things wrong with the series. Suffice it to say, Ana was not prepared for my level of wrath on this topic.

There are few things that I can cop to really hating deep in my marrow, and this is one of those things. I despise everything about this series. I refuse to read it. I refuse to give that “author” any of my money. Knowing that it stemmed from the Twilight fandom is enough for me, but then it was explained to me what the book is about and that just sealed its fate. My mom’s argument for why the series is a love story is because Christian “changes” in the end.

Because that somehow makes it okay that for however many pages/chapters/books before that he was an abusive dickhead? I fail to see how that’s a good message to send to teenage girls who have no business reading these sorts of books to begin with. That’s another issue altogether, but since they’re reading these books it’s something that should be considered.

Scribe made the great point that if Christian was stripped of his money and good looks, no one would give a single fuck about him. The sad truth is, she’s absolutely right. Yeah, sure, it’s a fantasy to have a good looking, wealthy man take interest in you. But is it worth it if you become his VICTIM? That’s the part that gets glazed over. Anastasia isn’t his girlfriend, she’s his victim.

And this movie is being released on Valentine’s Day.

Right, yeah, makes total sense! Nothing says, “I love you!” like lukewarm sex scenes and an abusive relationship. Enjoy your popcorn, motherfuckers. It’ll be the highlight of your evening.

I have rage about this. So much rage.

I won’t even get into some of the crazy shit I see on my Facebook feed. I swear, I really need to just take a step back from that crap for a while because it’s clearly starting to cause psychological damage. That’s not good.

On another, much happier note…

Linds

Scribe totally took that pic on one of her trips up here to Chicago. I just doctored it a little. Chicago misses you, Scribe! I do too! Even though I just saw you a few weeks ago haha. So everyone go wish Scribe a super happy birthday. And even though I personally don’t much care for the Beatles…

Don’t ever say I don’t love you, Lindsay Jo! I just posted the FUCKING BEATLES ON MY BLOG FOR YOU.

I’m going to go chill the fuck out before I give myself an aneurysm or a stroke or something. Peace out kiddies!

33 thoughts on “Sometimes I Am So Done With the Internet…

  1. I think t is remarkable how easily people gloss over or “forget about” certain parts of a story to make the story sound better or a character look better. It still irritates me the way Bill’s rape of Sookie is glossed over and they act like there should be no repercussions or consequences because he felt bad about it.

    I haven’t read the series and have no desire to do so. I don’t want to read a story about a rich, older man using his looks and money to get a younger woman into bed and treating her horrible in the process. I can just watch the news to hear about that.

  2. I haven’t read any of the 50 Shades books, either, and I have absolutely no desire to do so. I’m not at all interested in wasting my time with what I understand is a poorly-written series about bully and a victim. I can’t believe all the hype and (positive) attention it continues to receive and I wholeheartedly agree that teenagers should not be reading it. “Oh my god … she met this older guy…. and he was an asshole … but because of her, he changed! It’s true love!! … Oh, it’s so cool to be a victim!” So warped!

    What i do enjoy reading are well-written, clever erotic stories. There are plenty of them out there, both published work and fan fiction, that are far superior to 50 Shades of Shit! (The Playground, for example!) 😉

    Anywho – don’t blow a gasket, Hon! Go pet a kitten and calm yourself down. XO

    Oh! And Happy Birthday to Scribe!! You girls ROCK!

  3. Happy birthday, Scribe!

    Christian Grey does not change, he merely modifies his methods. Anyone who believes he changes should read Jenny Trout’s recaps of 50 Shades Freed. Heck, everyone should read Jenny’s recaps (easily found by googling her name and the book titles) because they are great fun and hugely entertaining. In the third book he is still physically abusing Ana, but doing it with love bites instead of a belt, and he’s definitely psychologically abusing her. By the end he has her under his total control.

  4. I really hate stories where they use sex as ‘punishment’. Pretend punishment like ooo I’ve been a naughty girl Mr Northman… fine no worries tie me up tie me down whoopee but the I’m gonna make you know who’s boss by degrading and hurting you… So not for me. As you say it’s abuse. I have never read any of the stories either. Thanks for the comment.

  5. I’m really surprised by all of this, particularly that you’re all making comment on something you have not read. Your view of Christian Grey is incredibly one dimensional. He is without doubt a flawed person who has lead a troubled life. But that does not make him unlovable.

    In relation to the book stemming from twilight fanfic… I’m sure you wouldn’t like it if people discounted your wonderful creative stories based on a dislike for SVM or TB.

    All the best to poor Heather. Such an cowardly act.

    Xox

    • Actually, you’re incorrect. If someone dismisses my work because it stems from svm or True Blood, that’s fine by me. I consider it to be their loss. I’m quite certain E.L. James isn’t sitting at home sobbing because I’ve dismissed her work as drivel depicting an abusive relationship that in her mind is a love story. I could point out all the recent blog posts citing all the examples of abuse in the series but since you have clearly read it, you should be familiar with them.

      Regardless of that, you have clearly planted your flag on Team Grey. Great. Good for you. I hope you never find yourself in a relationship like the one Ana did.

      And there shouldn’t be any surprise. I’m not notoriously quiet about the awful misrepresentation of what a BDSM relationship is. The Playground was born because of it. 46 chapters of protest should be enough.

      I do agree with you about Heather, however.

    • And if you want to get technical about it I didn’t say anywhere that he’s unlovable. I said that Ana is his victim, not his girlfriend. She exhibits behavior of someone in an abusive relationship. Just because she loves him doesn’t make it less abusive.

  6. Could not agree more about the 50 shade of shady behavior…

    Happy Birthday, Scribe! Enjoy your day & celebrate well!

  7. I find the internet is a double edged sword but if the so-called-writer rip off of Heather’s work has shown anything (beyond the fact that some people are shameless) is that, while a story being online does lend itself to be lifted more easily and passed on by someone else, the internet also allows to fight back quite effectively. Firstly being able to search a sentence or a paragraph (or even setting a regular alert via google alerts) helps writers monitor online theft but most importantly I was impressed at how the fanfic community got in action to support Heather but also to expose the so-called-writer (another ‘writer’ who shall not be named) to the point of hopefully banishing her fraudulent works from the internet and herself until she goes through some copyright training and what it means to be a writer (eg not copy pasting other people’s work – you might get away with that for school but not when you start making money by selling ‘your fiction’).

    I can’t comment on the 50-Shade-Grey thing as for the longest time I ignored it thinking it was a spin off from Grey’s Anatomy (and I hate medical drama with a passion, House excepted-ish). I couldn’t understand why a network drama was causing such upheaval… Then I learnt what the books were actually about but never felt tempted to read them since there is plenty of good erotic literature that comes less tainted by dancing with abusive relationships (not my favourite topic especially when it is not examined critically but just for pure titillation). So I won’t comment on 50 Shades but I do agree with you in the general idea that there is far too much fiction out there perpetuating the myth that a ‘good woman’s job’ is to find some abusive asshole and redeem him by suffering said abuse to the point of ‘earning his love’. There are so many of these stories in popular culture esp. targeting girls and young women that it drives me insane. And yes, abusive relationships are not in any way equivalent to a mutually agreed BDSM type relationship between consenting adults. Whilst I can’t say I understand the appeal myself but to each their own so long as it is consensual.

    Oh and happy b’day Scribe (sorry if I am late!)

  8. I so agree with you – I have the first 2 books in pdf verson but never managed to find the interest in finishing the first one; so not a love story.

    On a happier note – Happy Birthday Scribe!

  9. First of all about the plagiarism, that is so fucked up. I’ve had that done to me before and was enraged, but to know someone actually had the nerve to publish someone else’s work is really sick. Pretty Kitty is one of my favorite stories right now; I can imagine how hard she must have worked on it. Some people just need to get a life, along with their own damn ideas. As for 50 Shades of Crap, I could not agree more. I will never touch that series with a ten foot pole, I just can’t believe shit like that is actually considered good. It makes me fear even more for this world.

  10. What happened to ficlit78 was pure selfishness, plain and simple….on the 50 shades topic I have all 3 books and absolutely loved them…if u haven’t read them then I don’t think u can give an honest review of the series, n passages/snippets from other reviewers don’t count….everything that happens between Christian Grey n Anastasia Steele is consensual and all of his previous partners were consensual…his previous partners signed a contract consenting giving their do’s/don’t’s n their safe words, Ana actually enjoyed it….it is not an abusive relationship….Grey has a horrible background n was actually abused physically n sexually, so yes he is messed up but he able to come to terms with it through Ana…So it is a love story…he’s upfront with her yet he slowly introduces the acts to to her, he’s very patient with her….I’m not involved in bdsm but I have considered it n have researched into n contracts r common
    I’m actually disappointed that u haven’t read the series n yet u r giving a comments about how it’s a horrible story

    • I would rather smash my toes with a hammer than read that shitty excuse for a series. You’re entitled to your opinion and I’m entitled to mine. You’re not going to convince me that it’s not an abusive relationship. It’s not worth it to even try.

      • Well go ahead n smash ur toes because I’m not trying to convince u….n I agree 100% that every one is entitled to their own personal opinions…I was just pointing out some facts since I have read actually read it(like a dozen times)….and don’t blame the author for teens reading it, that blame goes to the parents for letting them read it or for not paying attention to their teens to know what they’re reading

      • I completely agree it’s up to parents to monitor what their children are reading. It’s not up to the author to go around and personally card every person to read her book. I never suggested that it was her responsibility. Just like it’s not my fault if some teenager stumbles onto my work.

        What I wonder, and maybe you can explain, is what the point was of having a contract and/or safe word in the books if he wasn’t going to abide by them. It’s my understanding that Ana uses the safe word and he ignores her. Whether or not Ana chooses to see it as such, that constitutes abuse. At that moment, if I were in her place, I would have left and filed a police report for battery.

      • Also, his background of abuse doesn’t excuse his treatment of Ana. He doesn’t get a free pass because of his past. If anything, I think that further proves the point that he’s not really dominant but a complete sadist who merely wanted to abuse someone the way he was abused. It’s a common response to abuse. It can also be a warning for murderous tendencies, like the abused kid who tortures animals or younger siblings.

  11. Ana actually wound up not signing the contract. They sort of came to a verbal agreement/undersatnding. He had the contracts with the previous ones so he wouldn’t get emotionally involved with them n at the beginning he was wanting that with Ana. They actually dated n had some soft sessions in the beginning. He sees a therapist on a weekly basis. He actually starts taking Ana with him to the therapist. he thinks of himself as a sadist but his therapist keeps calling it something else, but I can’t remember what it is….now I know they split up for a while n I think that’s when he took it to far n didn’t stop at the safe word…but it didn’t get totally out of hand n I don’t think she ever bruised. I think she was more scared than anything. but she really couldn’t go to the police because she put herself in that position n it does explain her reasoning for not going to the police…. it has been a while since I have read them(I read it so much that I burnt myself out)…n I have read so much since then…I really need to re-read them

    • Okay so based on your summary there I still see a problem. She was afraid of him. You’re not supposed to be afraid of your significant other. Fear suggests an abusive situation, whether the abuse is mental, physical or emotional or a combination isn’t the point, it’s that she fears him.

      I just can’t wrap my head around that ship. To me it perpetuates an unhealthy myth that a woman can change a man. This series has young girls who don’t know any better seeking out guys like Christian. To me he sounds dangerous and not in a good way. The fact that Ana allows this behavior doesn’t mean it isn’t abusive. I find it hard to believe that the BDSM community’s general abhorrence of the series and the commentary of mental health professionals in regards to Ana exhibiting the classic signs of an abuse victim are all misguided.

      I think Christian’s behavior is glazed over because he “changes” in the end. I’m glad he seeks help and he works through his issues. In the meantime he’s still abusing women. He gets away with it because of the contracts and because he’s a wealthy/good looking man. To me, there’s nothing sexy about it.

  12. Ok I just went back and skimed the last chapter…..she actually asked him to punish her n basically not to go easy on her n not to hold back….she had been enjoying the light side of it up until then….well when he did punish her(like she asked him too) it freaked her out n she got scared…scared because she realized he wasn’t gonna open up to her emotionally n she knew what she wanted n she couldn’t be what he needed her to be….they whole series is more emotionally driven than anything else….u have to have an open mind to understand where the characters are coming from…n when I said scared a few comments back I wasn’t saying she feared him, cuz h.e doesn’t scare he….there is actually not a lot of bdsm play in the series…..btw, I know what abuse is physical, emotional, verbal, sexual u name it…I have a history with all of it so that’s probably why I can relate/understand with both Christian Grey n Anastasia Steele

  13. I have to take issue with the suggestion that Ana was scared after the beating at the end of Book 1 because she realized that Grey wasn’t going to open up to her emotionally. It is true that he wasn’t going to open up to her emotionally and that did indeed sadden her, but she was scared because she didn’t like being hit and he had beaten the shit out of her and it had hurt a helluva lot and she didn’t enjoy it one bit, and she realised that he enjoyed inflicting that pain, and that bothered her a lot. As it should. She had asked him to do it because she wanted to know how bad his “punishment” could get, and because she’d hoped he would open up to her emotionally if she allowed him to do it. So he did what she asked.. And she didn’t like it one bit and realised she couldn’t be what he needed and he couldn’t give her what she needed. He never did anything quite like that again.

    She didn’t safeword on that occasion because, she later said, she forgot, but safewording would have defeated the purpose anyway. She wanted to know how bad it could get and if she’d safeworded she would never have known and that crisis that incident caused in their relationship would not have arisen. It served an important purpose in the context of the story. The only time she did use a safeword was in the third book when he was punishing her for having the audacity to go out for drinks with a friend when he’d told her not to. By exercising her free will as an adult human being and staying out with her friend she avoided being attacked and kidnapped, which is what would have happened to her if she’d stayed at home like he told her to. But he focused on the fact she had defied him and set about punishing her with orgasm denial: something she had never consented to. The books are full of Grey doing things to Ana that she never consented to, or never gave free and full and informed consent to. The character is a master manipulator and he coerced her into doing a lot of things she either flat out didn’t want to do or was unsure about.

    • And therefore, it’s an abusive relationship. Failure by either or both parties to recognize that fact doesn’t make it less true. Plain and simple victims love their abuser all the time. Ana was no different. Thank you for clarifying why Ana was scared!

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