Beware the spoilers under the cut… to say nothing of my epic bitching and overwhelming usage of gifs.
I’ve been asked by several people where my recap is for the finale and to be honest, I’ve tried to wipe it from my mind because it was, hands down, the worst episode of the show I have seen. I haven’t been this disappointed in the show since the end of the third season. I really didn’t think it could get worse than Alan Ball going on air post show to apologize to the fans for the shitshow it was then.
I was wrong.
By now I’m sure everyone has read just about every complaint there is that can be had with the finale and the way it all played out. I’m not going to bother rehashing all of my gripes here because it’s just going to piss me off all over again and I don’t need that shit. Suffice it to say my headcanon for season 7 is shaping up to be better than the crap Brian Buckner said in an interview. I want to hope that this is trolling a la Alan Ball, but my faith in these people is waning.
Ultimately, my biggest gripe is that the finale set us up for a triangle that makes zero fucking sense. I fail to see how Bill is going to be redeemed when for him, forgiveness isn’t something that is earned, but something he feels he’s owed and that’s not the way it works. Jessica got it right when she went to Andy and apologized for what she did to his daughters. She offered him her protection and when he rejected it, she told him he had it anyway.
That is how it’s done.
This could just be my shipper heart tainting my vision–I can admit that–but if I was watching the same version of the show everyone else was, it appeared to me that the door was left open for Eric and Sookie to find their way back to one another. There’s nothing sweet between Sookie and Bill. She said in the first half of season 6 that Bill was dead to her. In the second half she called him a motherfuckin’ monster. I fail to see how that sets them up for a reunion.
Yep, that’s love just waiting to happen, folks.
As I pointed out to Scribe today in conversation, it would be nice if Bill would stop making those same faces he always makes. I don’t trust him. He gets that pinched, constipated look and I just want to punch him because I know whatever is fixing to come out of his mouth is either going to be a lie or a bunch of manipulative bullshit. Either way, I don’t trust it, or him. How Sookie could even consider giving him another chance after all he’s put her through, I will never understand.
The other thing I want to address was the use of full frontal nudity as a distraction, because lets be honest, that’s exactly what that was. This entire episode was written as if the writers were smoking crack when they did it. Maybe they were, I don’t know. I’d like to know when Eric’s brain damage occurred, allowing him to think it was a brilliant plan to go hang out on a Swedish mountain, nude, in a fucking lounge chair, and just read a book like it’s no big deal. Really?
Even if Eric did have a death wish, and I don’t believe that he did, this is clearly one of the stupidest things I’ve ever seen. It completely goes against everything Eric has ever stood for, and he’s a vampire that loves life. His love for living was what had him consenting to being turned in the first place. He made sacrifices to continue living. You mean to tell me that losing his sister pushed him so far over the edge that he decided to just say fuck it, I wanna be a crispy critter?
I swear the only reason they decided to go full frontal was because they hoped it would somehow pacify all of the ASkars fans out there. Newsflash! Most of us already saw his junk. Anyone else remember this lovely piece of yumminess?
Granted this isn’t the same as some of the stuff that started floating around the likes of tumblr after the show aired but still. Been there, done that. I’m not watching the show hoping to see Eric’s dick. Unless it’s somewhere in the vicinity of Sookie and her fairy vagina. Then by all means, bombard us with as much Viking broadsword as you see fit.
It bothers me that nudity was used in attempts to distract from the awful shitshow we were witnessing. It bothers me that they don’t have enough confidence in the story they’re telling and have to resort to the lowest common denominator in order to find something they think might appease their fans. Well, guess what? It didn’t work. In fact, showing us Alex’s dick probably pissed more people off than it turned them on.
I’m bothered by the idea of Sookie being wedged between two rapists and having to pick one or die. I’m bothered by her very Stepford-ish attitude and the way she defers to Alcide. The point was made by OhioGirl over on tumblr that she’s in the recovery stages from an abusive relationship. I get it. At this point, hooking up with Alcide might seem like the safest option. He’s not quite human, she gets to experience a somewhat ‘normal’ human relationship and she gets to do the things with her boyfriend she couldn’t do with the vampires. Plus there’s no worries about him nearly draining her or trying to control her with his blood. If you can see what happened in season 5 with that hookup through Sookie’s eyes, then it’s just a hookup gone wrong.
My problem with that relationship is that we didn’t see the evolution from friends to lovers, and the last we knew of them when they talked about being in a relationship, Sookie made it clear she wasn’t interested in being Alcide’s girlfriend. Yet the first chance he gets when she’s drunk, vulnerable and looking for a way to take some control in her own life he magically shows up and is all in for hooking up with the drunk girl. That doesn’t look very good.
It came off as being skeevy, to say the least. I have a problem with it all the way around. On top of that, Alcide has proven through previous relationships that he likes being the alpha male. He needs his women to be dependent and deferring to him on things. He needs to be the shot caller. So he picks the weak one in the herd and as soon as she starts to show a little strength or independence, he’s outta there. It happened with Debbie Pelt and then with Rikki. What bothers me about that is both of those women were portrayed as ‘crazy’ so it was a good thing for Alcide to leave them. What about his role in their downward spiral into madness?
Alcide was emotionally cheating on Debbie, who he damn well knew was unstable. He flat out lied to her about Sookie on more than one occasion, forgetting that his girlfriend is a werewolf and has a keen a sense of smell as he’s got. Did he not think Debbie was going to be able to smell Sookie all over him before he got into bed at night? At least take a fucking shower, you arrogant shit.
Then with Rikki, the power of being Alcide’s number one bitch went to her head. She clearly had her own ideas about how the pack should be run and when Alcide didn’t do things to her satisfaction, she challenged him. He might have beaten her physically, but mentally they are on two very different planes.
Now there’s Sookie and I can’t imagine she’s going to remain this subservient forever. A time will come when she’s going to have to stand up, remember her Gran raised her to be an independent woman and not some meek, wallflower housewife who lets her big, strong man do all the thinking for her and reclaim control of her life.
Or maybe not.
Maybe True Blood’s version of Sookie is destined to go from one bad, abusive relationship forever. It’s obvious this Sookie doesn’t retain anything she’s learned for very long and this time I can’t even excuse it because of Bill’s blood.
If that’s the case, this is very, very disappointing to me. I suppose it shouldn’t be since book!Sookie learned fuck-all over the course of thirteen seasons. Maybe it will be the same for this girl.
Either way, I don’t have high hopes for season seven. I may not even watch. We’ll see what happens there. It’s a long way off and right now my headcanon is sounding better and better than what Buckner has suggested is in store for us next year. It’s disappointing because I came into this season with such high hopes. Not just as an Eric and Sookie shipper, but for the show in general. I really, really loved last season. For the first time in a long time it had that almost Whedon-esque feel where everyone was moving in the same direction, fighting the same big bad without really knowing it. It all seemed to make sense to me. Then they dumped Hudis, who clearly had a different plan in mind than Buckner and it all went to shit mid-season.
I want to hope that they’ll do something next year that makes sense but right now I just don’t know if I have it in me.
For anyone needing a little salve to sooth the sting of the finale, I’ve started a story with Scribeninja called Just A Little Heat that picks up during the finale and goes beyond that point into what we’re envisioning for season 7. We’re sticking with the Hep-V outbreak idea and going our own way with it. This story delivers on several things that the show will not:
- Eric and Sookie scenes.
- Eric’s not dead.
- Bill will get what’s coming to him.
That’s all I feel comfortable saying about the plot we have devised, but I think anyone feeling the same way we do right about now will appreciate what we came up with for this story, so please check it out.