I’m going to start by thanking everyone that participated in the Emma Meets World project.
Most of your goodies were stuffed into that box and mailed to her while Scribe was here, and she was thrilled to receive it. So thank you all for sending me the things you did and helping Emma learn a little more about the world around her.
I’ve been stuck on Cross Out Name and I’ve just been a shit about updating on a weekly basis. I have a few chapters banked, but I keep forgetting to upload them for you. Have no fear, I’ve added a new one so you can now get on with the next chapter. Hopefully my brain will unfuck itself and I can get back to work on it. I will finish that story, I promise! I’m changing the layout on my page so that all of the chapters will appear in the sidebar from now on since there are so many complaints about the drop down menu at the top. I’m going to work on adding previous and next links, but as I’ve said before, that’s a time consuming process. Seriously, it’s not that hard to just use the drop down. Also, if you’re reading from a mobile device, considering downloading the WP app. It’s super easy to use and very reader friendly.
Writing with Missy Dee has been very productive for us both. I’m super excited about teaming up with her. I still love writing with Scribe, but there’s a definite difference in the kinds of stories I can write with Missy as opposed to what I can write with Scribe. When I told Scribe about Play With Fire her first reaction was, “No.” I like that the stories Missy and I are talking about writing all have a taboo-ish edge to them and might make people cringe a little bit but they become almost guilty pleasure type stories without getting so far from reality that you can’t recognize the situations as being ones that could actually happen.
Which leads me to a little rant I need to expel from my system. I’m going to put the majority of this under a cut so that anyone not reading Play With Fire doesn’t have to read this or get spoiled with this post if they were planning to wait until it’s finished posting to read it. Check me out being all considerate and shit…
So my gripe today is about cheating. More to the point, the reaction we got to Aude finding out that Eric has been cheating on her for months. I find it interesting that the first place a lot of readers went was to assume that Aude has been cheating as well. There are plenty of reasons why she and Eric may not have had sex in the last year. Maybe she’s a typical woman and after having six kids, being over forty and having a husband that isn’t very attracted to her anymore has shut her down. What married woman wants to have sex with a man that’s basically just using her to get off, especially when way back in the day she knows he used to at least somewhat enjoy having sex with her?
Is it possible Aude could have something going on? Sure it is. Whether or not readers have assumed correctly will be revealed before the story’s end, but for the time being can we just focus on the fact that Eric said he would give up not just his wife, but his children to be with Sookie? That’s some pretty serious shit.
Maybe he wanted to get caught by not trying to hide it all that well. That’s entirely possible and I don’t think he and Aude going their separate ways is a bad thing. IMO, they needed to split up a long ass time ago but they didn’t because of the kids and because it was just easier to stay together. Had he not met Sookie, I have no doubt Eric would have stayed with Aude out of loyalty and a sense of duty to her and their kids.
I think this situation is a hard one to point fingers and at say, “This is all your fault.”
There’s a loveless marriage and Eric has never really felt the sort of things he feels when he’s with Sookie. She brings something out in him that he didn’t know was there. I think she makes him feel more alive and like his life doesn’t have to be so miserable. Those a pretty powerful emotions when you’re used to feeling so resigned to your life. With her I think he sees a way out of the misery he’s been living in.
Unfortunately, he fell in love with someone he’s supposed to have a business relationship with. And yes, Sookie’s feelings for Eric have shifted considerably since they first met but she’s not wrong when she says he doesn’t truly know her. He knows the woman he pays to keep him sexually excited. That’s very different from dealing with the woman who weeps at ASPCA commercials when she’s got PMS or getting caught up in her family drama. There is so much about her that he doesn’t know, and trust me, she’s got a whopper of a story to tell.
Ultimately, regardless of whether or not Aude has something to hide, Eric still fucked up. He cheated on his wife of twenty-three years with a prostitute. Not cool! If I was in Aude’s shoes I would be furious about it. We know that Eric is mostly being safe with Sookie and that she’s clean, but that isn’t the reputation most prostitutes have and Aude certainly doesn’t know about all of the testing Sookie undergoes to make sure she’s clean. I would flip the fuck out if my husband told me he’d been sneaking off to carry on an affair with another woman for six months and he was paying her to do it. And to make matters worse, he’s in love with the woman he’s having sex with.
Being good looking only gets you so far, and there’s no amount of charm that’s going to save him from this. I don’t think he should be let off the hook for it either. He screwed the pooch big time. He’s lucky his kids are older because if they were still little I doubt Aude would let him anywhere near them, and I wouldn’t blame her one bit for that. The court would take one look at the records Aude has of where he’s been going and throw the book at him. Clearly Eric’s judgment is questionable here on many levels.
Do I understand why he did what he did? Yes, I do. Does that excuse it? Hell fucking no. And if he didn’t think it was wrong he would have just told Aude what he was doing but he didn’t do that. He lied about where he was going every other weekend and he was spending their money on a mistress that was costing him thousands of dollars a visit. The worst part really is the emotional attachment he’s developed for Sookie. Just because getting a divorce is the right thing to do doesn’t mean it’s easy to just up and get one or they would have done it already.
I tend to think that in most situations where cheating happens, both the cheater and the person that cheated are at fault in some capacity. Make no mistake, I’m not saying that if a husband cheats on his wife any of her behavior makes her deserve it, but there was a reason the man cheated. Maybe he was bored or didn’t think his wife was interested anymore. Maybe he had a moment of stupidity that he would take back if he could. Maybe everything in the relationship has shut down and he went looking for what he needed with someone else. Or maybe the guy’s just an epic bag of dicks and cheats because he can get away with it. Whatever the reason, it always takes two and there’s a certain level of responsibility that belongs on both shoulders.
But then I’m the sort of person that looks at relationships that fall apart from the perspective of wanting to know what I could have done differently to avoid the situation I found myself in. What did I do to cause a situation to occur? What can I learn from this so it doesn’t happen again? Just saying that so and so did this and it’s all their fault won’t fix anything or help me learn anything. Just like, if I was in Aude’s situation, blaming everything on Sookie would be a waste. Yes, Sookie shares some of the responsibility for the dissolution of this marriage but it was over long before Eric met her. The interesting thing is that it seems like Sookie is the only one that ends up feeling any sort of guilt over what happened, but we’ll get into that in the coming chapters.
Finally, I would just like to say that it’s okay to think Eric is a dick for what he’s done here. Yes, feel badly for him that Sookie rejected him but he still cheated on his wife. He did a shit job of hiding it and I don’t think his expectations were realistic. Did he really think Sookie was going to give up her job, move to Utah and… what? Was he thinking they’d just get married and live happily ever after? No. Eric needs to deal with the consequences and the fallout from what he’s done and he really has no one to blame for any of this shit but himself.